On my way to work, Id asked "What would you do with a million dollars? How would you spend it?"
I recall as children in elementary school,perhaps fifth or sixth grade, we were asked that similar question. It was one of those questions designed to reveal our way of thinking. What we would do with a million dollars would say a lot about the philanthropy in our hearts, our concern for the problems of the world, our concept of money and our knowledge of the cost of material things. At the time, most of the answers would reveal that the classroom had an over abundant share of philanthropists and humanitarians who would give more than 50% to charity while helping find cures for the ill, shelter for the homeless, food for the hungry, clothing for the poor, a house and/or car for our families, a trip around the world, ah yes, some games and toys for ourselves, and most of us would put money in a savings account. Once we entered high school the question of a million dollars was not asked again perhaps for fear that life values and cost of living had changed so drastically toward material gratification that the class would reveal an abundance of egoism and significant lack of philanthropists and humanitarians.
"How would you spend it?" repeated Id.
"I'm thinking," I said.
"What's there to think about? You know what you want, what you like, what you don't have, or could have, why should you think about it?"
"Because money can do a lot, and I want to make it work for me," I said with conviction.
"Spending it on what you want is making it work for you," said Id.
"That's too temporary," I said. "Remember years ago, when we were much younger, we tried spending an imaginary million dollars. We decided to spend on ourselves first, so we calculated to the dollar the price of our wants and desires. We went straight into redecorating with new furniture, new electronics, gadgets, vacation, wardrobe and still had money left over. So we decided to spend on remodeling the home, giving 5% to schools and 15% to charity, and putting aside enough for a few rainy days, with money left over for emergencies other than 'rainy days.'"
"Yeah, I remember," nodded Id with a smile that stretched from ear to ear as he delighted in the memory. "I was so excited. I clipped pictures of everything I wanted with their price tags attached...from the latest PlayStation and games to cars and bikes, we put it all on paper, our wants and desires. We really indulged in our fantasy."
"We sure did," I said as I took a short moment to bask in the memory of our indulgence. "But, that's all it was, want and desires," I said, coming back to reality. "Wants and desires fade and change. I need something more lasting and meaningful."
"Here we go again," said Id as he sighed and rolled his head in frustration. He knew where I was headed.
"Money needs to reflect who I really am and what is important to me in life," I continued.
"I know," said Id, exasperated. "For you it's people first, then money."
"Precisely. So I'll need to take care of loved ones first. It's as if by taking care of others--those to whom I gave life, those who helped me enter the world and especially those who helped and guided my passage through life--I will have responded to the higher values of my existence. Can you understand that?" I asked in earnest. "It's as if I'm giving thanks on a material level."
"Absolutely. But, you're not in fifth grade anymore. You can think differently, you know." Id nudged me. "Besides, that's a long list of people and organizations, and what if they don't need your help?" Typical Id. Always asking the "what if..?"
"Everybody needs help," I said. "Anyway, people always welcome gifts."
"Yeah, well, don't forget to throw a bone or two my way once in a while," he said with his usual humor.
I laughed. "I'll do even better than that. I'll buy a couple of dogs to go with the bones."
"You mean we'll indulge?" he asked with sarcasm.
"Yep, I have it all calculated and there still will be some left over for a few wants and desires," I chuckled.
"Aren't you missing something?" asked Id.
"What?"
"The million!?" he exclaimed.
"I thought YOU had it," I smiled.
"Would I be here if I did?" asked Id. His face looked...I don't know...unguarded.
"If you had a million, I wouldn't be here either," I whispered softly.
On my way to work...
This I humbly speak...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Freedom
"No one is free when others are oppressed."
(Author unknown)
"Freedom is the best gift given to man. It lives in the heart, the actions and deeds of man, and it must be practiced daily to keep it alive so man can maintain his right to own it." (Silver Lining)
This I humbly speak....
(Author unknown)
"Freedom is the best gift given to man. It lives in the heart, the actions and deeds of man, and it must be practiced daily to keep it alive so man can maintain his right to own it." (Silver Lining)
This I humbly speak....
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Mathematics Is an Art
"Mathematicians are born, not made." I quote Jules Henri Poincare, one of the last universal mathematicians whose words I can attest to because I was not born with a natural understanding of mathematics. My strength lies in language. This past week, I attended a graduation at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada. I witnessed over 500 young women and men earn their bachelor, master and doctoral degree in some aspect of math or computing. I say some aspect because math exists at different levels, just as the English language ranges from primary to higher syntax of poetry. We all learn elementary math; a small number of us study higher math and an even smaller number become the thought behind a new equation; in other words, those few become what mathematicians oddly enough tend to compare themselves to, "the poets of their profession."
This past week, I spent time among these "poets." I learned that mathematics is the purest form of thought, and though we often think of mathematicians in the image of the absent minded professor, a nerd, or someone submerged in a solitary world, they are indeed expressive, interactive and emotional people who are fond of music. Of course, just because mathematicians are fond of music doesn't mean that all musicians are fond of mathematics. (Did I just put an algebraic equation into words?) Mathematicians seem to approach life in its simplest and purest form...where external factors are removed. They perceive beauty and harmony in the relationship between objects and elements, and the external world becomes non-existent. Jules Henri Poincare had a great reverence toward beauty of life but was quick to define beauty as..."that profounder beauty which comes from the harmonious order of the parts, and which a pure intelligence can grasp."
The air that day among the 500 and some graduates and professors carried a childlike innocence, resonating with sounds of harmonious pleasure, delighted at the gathering of creative minds. There were graduates from all fields of math... Real Math, Applied Math, Absolute Math, Algebra, Celestial Math, Calculus, Computer, Discrete Math, Experimental Math, Geometry, Game theory, Information theory, Optimization, Recreational Math, Probability and Statistics, Quantitative Math, Topology, Mnemonics, and...need I say more? Math is in every aspect of our lives.
Until this last week, mathematics was an enigma characterised by the impression of numbers and calculations and tables taught at school. I used to think it was strictly rational, abstract, cold and soulless. I stand corrected. Though I am not born a mathematician and know that I cannot be made one, I now appreciate that mathematics, in a way, is as much an art as it is a science.
"A real mathematician has to have the soul of a poet." (Mathematician Karl Weierstrass)
FYI, the person near and dear to my heart whose graduation I attended is a beautiful young woman who literally is a poet of her profession.
This I humbly speak.
This past week, I spent time among these "poets." I learned that mathematics is the purest form of thought, and though we often think of mathematicians in the image of the absent minded professor, a nerd, or someone submerged in a solitary world, they are indeed expressive, interactive and emotional people who are fond of music. Of course, just because mathematicians are fond of music doesn't mean that all musicians are fond of mathematics. (Did I just put an algebraic equation into words?) Mathematicians seem to approach life in its simplest and purest form...where external factors are removed. They perceive beauty and harmony in the relationship between objects and elements, and the external world becomes non-existent. Jules Henri Poincare had a great reverence toward beauty of life but was quick to define beauty as..."that profounder beauty which comes from the harmonious order of the parts, and which a pure intelligence can grasp."
The air that day among the 500 and some graduates and professors carried a childlike innocence, resonating with sounds of harmonious pleasure, delighted at the gathering of creative minds. There were graduates from all fields of math... Real Math, Applied Math, Absolute Math, Algebra, Celestial Math, Calculus, Computer, Discrete Math, Experimental Math, Geometry, Game theory, Information theory, Optimization, Recreational Math, Probability and Statistics, Quantitative Math, Topology, Mnemonics, and...need I say more? Math is in every aspect of our lives.
Until this last week, mathematics was an enigma characterised by the impression of numbers and calculations and tables taught at school. I used to think it was strictly rational, abstract, cold and soulless. I stand corrected. Though I am not born a mathematician and know that I cannot be made one, I now appreciate that mathematics, in a way, is as much an art as it is a science.
"A real mathematician has to have the soul of a poet." (Mathematician Karl Weierstrass)
FYI, the person near and dear to my heart whose graduation I attended is a beautiful young woman who literally is a poet of her profession.
This I humbly speak.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Praise the Man
Much is said of the woman who works hard in and out of the home. Much is said of the woman who strives for equality in the work force and whose monetary reward earned, or lack thereof, becomes the measure of her equality. (Another subject altogether to be left for another day.) Much is said of the working woman. But what of the working man? I think he deserves mention.
I admire the working man of today. He has stepped in to take on some of the responsibilities that woman has worked hard to shed off her shoulders in the process of attempting to lose the title of homemaker. Man now helps with the budgeting, planning meals, shopping, cooking, laundry, washing, getting children ready for school, taking them to school, bathing and dressing them, feeding them, reading to them, playing with them, putting them to bed, fixing things, entertaining guests, and, often solves a problem without bitching and moaning. Man is a problem solver. He is brought up to be one. He finds a solution and he goes straight to it, regardless of whether it is what you want. He is pragmatic and solves your problem with a simple "you should..."
I appreciate the working man of today. He takes responsibility for his actions. He doesn't make excuses. He is, afterall, brought up to be the designated risk-taker even if the risk is emotional. Is not man the one who takes the ultimate emotional risk when, not knowing the outcome, he makes the first move by asking "Will you marry me?"?
I value the working man of today. He suppresses his sense of isolation when women or daughters are recognized as caregivers to parents even though in 2004, the NAC/AARP found 40% of all caregivers to be men. And though man is often made to feel less needed by the modern woman's lack of regard for his masculinity by seeking to be a single parent, he is still the first to rush women and children out of burning buildings, put them in lifeboats first and help navigate them through high waters.
I praise the working man of today. He is still chivalrous despite being "scolded" for his lack of sensitivity toward his "equal" counter-gender. Next time a car breaks down, chances are, it's a man whose going to stop and offer to help. Carrying something heavy? Chances are a man is going to offer his help with it.
I like the working man of today. He is as educated as his female equal. He holds a full time job. He takes on the homemaker responsibilities with pleasure and enjoys time with his children. He is responsible and takes over what once was the predominantly female role of caregiver. He is not as emotionally shut down as once thought he was, and he does not bitch and moan. He is helpful off-road and in house. He is chivalrous; and if his upbringing to protect and shelter has not been altered, he will do so with blind faith for his family, his spouse and child. Praise the man, for he is found in your father, your brother, your husband, and your son. Praise the man.
This I humbly speak...
I admire the working man of today. He has stepped in to take on some of the responsibilities that woman has worked hard to shed off her shoulders in the process of attempting to lose the title of homemaker. Man now helps with the budgeting, planning meals, shopping, cooking, laundry, washing, getting children ready for school, taking them to school, bathing and dressing them, feeding them, reading to them, playing with them, putting them to bed, fixing things, entertaining guests, and, often solves a problem without bitching and moaning. Man is a problem solver. He is brought up to be one. He finds a solution and he goes straight to it, regardless of whether it is what you want. He is pragmatic and solves your problem with a simple "you should..."
I appreciate the working man of today. He takes responsibility for his actions. He doesn't make excuses. He is, afterall, brought up to be the designated risk-taker even if the risk is emotional. Is not man the one who takes the ultimate emotional risk when, not knowing the outcome, he makes the first move by asking "Will you marry me?"?
I value the working man of today. He suppresses his sense of isolation when women or daughters are recognized as caregivers to parents even though in 2004, the NAC/AARP found 40% of all caregivers to be men. And though man is often made to feel less needed by the modern woman's lack of regard for his masculinity by seeking to be a single parent, he is still the first to rush women and children out of burning buildings, put them in lifeboats first and help navigate them through high waters.
I praise the working man of today. He is still chivalrous despite being "scolded" for his lack of sensitivity toward his "equal" counter-gender. Next time a car breaks down, chances are, it's a man whose going to stop and offer to help. Carrying something heavy? Chances are a man is going to offer his help with it.
I like the working man of today. He is as educated as his female equal. He holds a full time job. He takes on the homemaker responsibilities with pleasure and enjoys time with his children. He is responsible and takes over what once was the predominantly female role of caregiver. He is not as emotionally shut down as once thought he was, and he does not bitch and moan. He is helpful off-road and in house. He is chivalrous; and if his upbringing to protect and shelter has not been altered, he will do so with blind faith for his family, his spouse and child. Praise the man, for he is found in your father, your brother, your husband, and your son. Praise the man.
This I humbly speak...
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Celebrate the Graduate
Thirty some years ago I stood behind a podium and presented the valedictorian address to the graduating class of a small private college in the city of La Verne, California, known as the University of La Verne. Now, as I recall the "speech," I come to realize that the message then was rooted in dreams and passions of making the world a better place. Not much has changed today. We celebrate our graduates at the threshold of their lives and give them the same weight of responsibility to become extraordinary citizens of humanity, to serve mankind and to leave the world better than they found it.
Today, I celebrate the graduate. I ask that you keep an open mind and recognize the wisdom revealed by life as a crucial catalyst to your education. The process of learning is life long. I recall a few years back when I saw my father look through TIME magazine, intrigued by news and science articles highlighted on the cover. He scanned the articles, shook his head as he put aside the magazine with a forlorn smile and said, "So much more to read, so much more to learn, yet so little time." My father was 93.
Most of you will choose to seek further studies and attain higher grounds. You will be challenged, you will compete and you will perform with professionalism achieving the highest points of your desires. As important as your obligations are as doctors, scientists, lawyers, business leaders, athletes, educators, remember that you are human beings first and your human connections, parents, family, spouses, children, friends are the most important investments you will make. Do not fall prey to becoming victims of your lives. Become the heroes.
Find humor in your lives. Take time to laugh with your human connections. Your view of the world will become more realistic. You will become less egocentric and more humble when you reach that "AHA" moment, the moment of success. But more importantly, humor will make you feel less defeated in times of trouble, because inevitably, you will meet failure, you will meet disappointment. And when you have to face the dilemmas of good and evil, and are lost in the delicate shadings between the two, remember your purpose, remember this day, the day when classmates, family, faculty and friends celebrated you as a graduate and entrusted you with the future. Surround yourself with those human connections who will remind you of your beauty when you feel ugly; who will believe in your innocence when you feel guilty; who will make you whole again when you feel crushed; and who will set you on the right path when you feel you have strayed.
Education is a life long process. And in the process do not neglect to pay your debts owed for your existence. Remember that the higher your achievement in the measure of your success, the greater your debt to the past. Do not let it be said of you what Voltaire the French poet said of one of Louis XIV ministers that "this man is guilty of all the good he did not do." Pay your debts of the past through deeds of love and service. Root your lives in justice, compassion and humility and listen to the voice of your heart's knowledge even when nobody else is looking.
Think all this, do all this with a strong faith in humanity, and you will have done an extraordinary task in a world that will be a better place.
Congratulations, Graduate!
This I humbly speak ...
Today, I celebrate the graduate. I ask that you keep an open mind and recognize the wisdom revealed by life as a crucial catalyst to your education. The process of learning is life long. I recall a few years back when I saw my father look through TIME magazine, intrigued by news and science articles highlighted on the cover. He scanned the articles, shook his head as he put aside the magazine with a forlorn smile and said, "So much more to read, so much more to learn, yet so little time." My father was 93.
Most of you will choose to seek further studies and attain higher grounds. You will be challenged, you will compete and you will perform with professionalism achieving the highest points of your desires. As important as your obligations are as doctors, scientists, lawyers, business leaders, athletes, educators, remember that you are human beings first and your human connections, parents, family, spouses, children, friends are the most important investments you will make. Do not fall prey to becoming victims of your lives. Become the heroes.
Find humor in your lives. Take time to laugh with your human connections. Your view of the world will become more realistic. You will become less egocentric and more humble when you reach that "AHA" moment, the moment of success. But more importantly, humor will make you feel less defeated in times of trouble, because inevitably, you will meet failure, you will meet disappointment. And when you have to face the dilemmas of good and evil, and are lost in the delicate shadings between the two, remember your purpose, remember this day, the day when classmates, family, faculty and friends celebrated you as a graduate and entrusted you with the future. Surround yourself with those human connections who will remind you of your beauty when you feel ugly; who will believe in your innocence when you feel guilty; who will make you whole again when you feel crushed; and who will set you on the right path when you feel you have strayed.
Education is a life long process. And in the process do not neglect to pay your debts owed for your existence. Remember that the higher your achievement in the measure of your success, the greater your debt to the past. Do not let it be said of you what Voltaire the French poet said of one of Louis XIV ministers that "this man is guilty of all the good he did not do." Pay your debts of the past through deeds of love and service. Root your lives in justice, compassion and humility and listen to the voice of your heart's knowledge even when nobody else is looking.
Think all this, do all this with a strong faith in humanity, and you will have done an extraordinary task in a world that will be a better place.
Congratulations, Graduate!
This I humbly speak ...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
I Am A Citizen
I am a citizen of a nation of laws. I am a naturalized citizen and as one who came here because of parents who believed that a better and more secure life would be available to their children, I am sympathetic toward all those who sacrifice much and come to the States with the same ideals in mind for their families. I know what courage it takes to leave your life behind to follow a dream. I am sympathetic toward the plight of parents who send their youth to study or work in a country because they believe in a nation that instills a sense of belonging by respecting individuals of all race, sex, color, creed and origin, whether deprived of human dignity or abundantly blessed. My grandparents did it. My parents did it. I did it. Many of you did it.
America is a nation of laws. When the laws (Amendments) were written, there was no law about illegals and there definitely was no question or doubt as to one's allegiance to the country. It was a given. The 14th Amendment makes it clear that a child born in the United States is granted U.S. citizenship except if born to parents who are both foreign, illegal, alien, tourist, etc. I am unsympathetic toward those who do not abide by the law. I am unsympathetic toward those who come to this country, who take for granted the privileges offered them (such as freedom to strike/boycott, to voice their opinion in public forums, to be catered to in their native tongue, to become educated through high school and then college) at the expense of the law abiding citizen. This is a country that shares such and many other privileges with legals (citizens) and aliens (illegals) alike with no questions asked. I am unsympathetic toward those who benefit from these privileges and yet create ruckus and furor over government which is trying to find solutions for its citizens whose rights and privileges are being exploited. I am unsympathetic toward those, regardless of race, color, sex, creed or origin who do not respect the laws of the country that feeds their families, that educates their children, that promotes humanitarian values and tolerates the practice of ones own ethnic and cultural traditions.
I am a citizen of the United States of America. I am sympathetic toward the laws of this nation.
This I humbly speak.
America is a nation of laws. When the laws (Amendments) were written, there was no law about illegals and there definitely was no question or doubt as to one's allegiance to the country. It was a given. The 14th Amendment makes it clear that a child born in the United States is granted U.S. citizenship except if born to parents who are both foreign, illegal, alien, tourist, etc. I am unsympathetic toward those who do not abide by the law. I am unsympathetic toward those who come to this country, who take for granted the privileges offered them (such as freedom to strike/boycott, to voice their opinion in public forums, to be catered to in their native tongue, to become educated through high school and then college) at the expense of the law abiding citizen. This is a country that shares such and many other privileges with legals (citizens) and aliens (illegals) alike with no questions asked. I am unsympathetic toward those who benefit from these privileges and yet create ruckus and furor over government which is trying to find solutions for its citizens whose rights and privileges are being exploited. I am unsympathetic toward those, regardless of race, color, sex, creed or origin who do not respect the laws of the country that feeds their families, that educates their children, that promotes humanitarian values and tolerates the practice of ones own ethnic and cultural traditions.
I am a citizen of the United States of America. I am sympathetic toward the laws of this nation.
This I humbly speak.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Freedom of Soul
I was rushed. I was driving between errands.
"Why do I have to comply all the time?" asked my Soul. "I am my own spirit. I have my own life. I want to be free."
"You are free," I said, somewhat taken aback by her forwardness.
"No, I'm not. You haven't given me the green light to do whatever I want," she said.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"I want to be free to do whatever I want, if ever I want and whenever I want."
"What's stopping you?" I said over my shoulder.
"You. You're stopping me. You're holding me back. "
"When? When have I held you back? And how am I holding you back?" I was getting defensive. "Don't I always tell you to 'do whatever you want... the opportunities are endless?'" I reminded her, and with a silly grin, I recalled an old nursery rhyme. "Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, doctor, dentist, actor, lawyer, rich man, poor man, beggar man, but NO thief." I laughed.
"You know that's not what I'm talking about," she said seriously. "I'm talking about guilt. I'm talking about feeling obligated that I have to comply to make YOU happy. " She was serious. Then she whispered softly, "I don't want to let you down."
My poor Soul. Her gentle spirit was troubled by an inner conflict. It was not so much what she was doing but what she was being that troubled her. I pulled over to the side of the road. This needed my full attention.
"Listen," I said. "Your freedom to be whoever and however it is you want to be...happy, sad, good, bad, weak, strong, caring, uncaring, friendly, distant, cheerful, grumpy, joyful, resentful.... is a choice you make as you develop yourself. Within you is an inalienable right to be free from coercion. I have no doubt that within you is the capacity to reach for the best that's for your own good."
"Yeah, but why do I feel guilty doing something that I know you may not approve?" She was still struggling with her conflicting emotions.
"Guilt is not a bad thing," I said. "Guilt is a learned response. It is the scale that measures your conscience against what you have been taught as 'should' or 'should not' do. If used as just that, guilt is not a bad thing. But more importantly, there is no should or should not. There is only your freedom to choose."
"And you, what about you? Do I ignore you completely if I am free?"
"If you choose to, you can. I am only the provider of tools with which you can seek your journey, have your conversations and ask all your questions in pursuit of your happiness. My joy is in your freedom. I am here to protect that freedom and 'enforce' the laws that will guard it. "
"You know, you're preachy," she said, very matter-of-fact.
"You had it coming," I said.
My Soul. She is of me and through me, yet she's entirely her own. I can only house her, nurture her with my best thoughts, cultivate her own source of joy and guide her through her journey to enlightenment. Our dialogues serve to remind me that she is my scale of conscience. My Soul doesn't know it yet, but of the two of us, she will be the stronger.
"Don't we have somewhere to be?" My Soul broke the silence.
I had to clear my throat before I spoke. "Not any more, we don't."
"Good! Let's just sit today out," she said.
"Your choice," I said.
"Ah, I like the taste of my freedom!" she said with a twinkle.
"So do I," I said. "So do I."
"Why do I have to comply all the time?" asked my Soul. "I am my own spirit. I have my own life. I want to be free."
"You are free," I said, somewhat taken aback by her forwardness.
"No, I'm not. You haven't given me the green light to do whatever I want," she said.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"I want to be free to do whatever I want, if ever I want and whenever I want."
"What's stopping you?" I said over my shoulder.
"You. You're stopping me. You're holding me back. "
"When? When have I held you back? And how am I holding you back?" I was getting defensive. "Don't I always tell you to 'do whatever you want... the opportunities are endless?'" I reminded her, and with a silly grin, I recalled an old nursery rhyme. "Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, doctor, dentist, actor, lawyer, rich man, poor man, beggar man, but NO thief." I laughed.
"You know that's not what I'm talking about," she said seriously. "I'm talking about guilt. I'm talking about feeling obligated that I have to comply to make YOU happy. " She was serious. Then she whispered softly, "I don't want to let you down."
My poor Soul. Her gentle spirit was troubled by an inner conflict. It was not so much what she was doing but what she was being that troubled her. I pulled over to the side of the road. This needed my full attention.
"Listen," I said. "Your freedom to be whoever and however it is you want to be...happy, sad, good, bad, weak, strong, caring, uncaring, friendly, distant, cheerful, grumpy, joyful, resentful.... is a choice you make as you develop yourself. Within you is an inalienable right to be free from coercion. I have no doubt that within you is the capacity to reach for the best that's for your own good."
"Yeah, but why do I feel guilty doing something that I know you may not approve?" She was still struggling with her conflicting emotions.
"Guilt is not a bad thing," I said. "Guilt is a learned response. It is the scale that measures your conscience against what you have been taught as 'should' or 'should not' do. If used as just that, guilt is not a bad thing. But more importantly, there is no should or should not. There is only your freedom to choose."
"And you, what about you? Do I ignore you completely if I am free?"
"If you choose to, you can. I am only the provider of tools with which you can seek your journey, have your conversations and ask all your questions in pursuit of your happiness. My joy is in your freedom. I am here to protect that freedom and 'enforce' the laws that will guard it. "
"You know, you're preachy," she said, very matter-of-fact.
"You had it coming," I said.
My Soul. She is of me and through me, yet she's entirely her own. I can only house her, nurture her with my best thoughts, cultivate her own source of joy and guide her through her journey to enlightenment. Our dialogues serve to remind me that she is my scale of conscience. My Soul doesn't know it yet, but of the two of us, she will be the stronger.
"Don't we have somewhere to be?" My Soul broke the silence.
I had to clear my throat before I spoke. "Not any more, we don't."
"Good! Let's just sit today out," she said.
"Your choice," I said.
"Ah, I like the taste of my freedom!" she said with a twinkle.
"So do I," I said. "So do I."
This I humbly speak...with freedom
Friday, May 21, 2010
My Own Day, Everyday
The timer on my outdoor lights was off. The lights came on too early in the afternoon and with the longer days of spring and summer, they needed to be set forward. Today, I did just that.
As I punched the numbers to move the clock forward, I thought what if I really could move my personal clock and skip a day or two, or even better, rewind my life by a day or two or three? Or what if I stopped the clock of my life at this perfect moment? I started to consider the options.
If I stopped the clock now, the day belonged to me. The beauty of the blue sky was mine. The sun with its first shower of light glimmering through the branches of the olive tree was mine. The sparrows nesting above my front door. All the birds in the trees. Even the neighbor's cat stretched out on their front porch was mine. It was such an exhilarating moment. I considered stopping the world right there and making today go on forever. But then again, I love life. How would I know what I'd be missing tomorrow, or the day after if today was forever?
Next, I considered the option of rewinding my life. Certainly, the course of my life would be different if given the chance to apply all that I know now, to my life the way it was then. As tempting as it was, if I couldn't do things perfectly the first time around, would I be able to do it right the second time? Or would I need a third time and a fourth? The more I thought about it, the more I rejected the idea. I am not one for perfection when it comes to the process of life. It's not my style. Remember, I'm the one who refused to go to a wedding rehearsal because "life is not a written script," I said. As tempted as I was at the thought of being able to "right" the "wrongs" of some of the things that I did, and as much as I may want to get a chance to "right" the "wrongs", everything that has happened in my life from events to people brings me to the place where I am right now. The events and choices I have made are woven together into a tapestry of intricate pattern that is my life. Assuming my life is a tapestry from start to finish, then like all stitchery, I have a wrong and a right side. If I turn the tapestry of my life thus far over to the "wrong" side, to the back where all the knots and adjoining threads are hidden, I see the beauty of redemption...a gradual decline of mixed up and messier threads as the tapestry of my life progresses over the years. The design on the back side is slowly becoming less messy and perhaps over time, the beauty of those random pieces of thread that work together will resemble the unique pieces of stitchery that, unless looked under extreme scrutiny, appear the same front and back. Nothing less than beautiful!
I finally got the clock right on the outdoor lights. I walked under the sparrows' nest and through my front door and entered into real time. Today, like everyday is a new day. It is a day to do things right, make good choices and decide wisely. It is a day to live with joy. Everyday, without turning back time, I have the opportunity to clean my slate and make it count.
The next 24 hours was mine.
This I humbly speak.
As I punched the numbers to move the clock forward, I thought what if I really could move my personal clock and skip a day or two, or even better, rewind my life by a day or two or three? Or what if I stopped the clock of my life at this perfect moment? I started to consider the options.
If I stopped the clock now, the day belonged to me. The beauty of the blue sky was mine. The sun with its first shower of light glimmering through the branches of the olive tree was mine. The sparrows nesting above my front door. All the birds in the trees. Even the neighbor's cat stretched out on their front porch was mine. It was such an exhilarating moment. I considered stopping the world right there and making today go on forever. But then again, I love life. How would I know what I'd be missing tomorrow, or the day after if today was forever?
Next, I considered the option of rewinding my life. Certainly, the course of my life would be different if given the chance to apply all that I know now, to my life the way it was then. As tempting as it was, if I couldn't do things perfectly the first time around, would I be able to do it right the second time? Or would I need a third time and a fourth? The more I thought about it, the more I rejected the idea. I am not one for perfection when it comes to the process of life. It's not my style. Remember, I'm the one who refused to go to a wedding rehearsal because "life is not a written script," I said. As tempted as I was at the thought of being able to "right" the "wrongs" of some of the things that I did, and as much as I may want to get a chance to "right" the "wrongs", everything that has happened in my life from events to people brings me to the place where I am right now. The events and choices I have made are woven together into a tapestry of intricate pattern that is my life. Assuming my life is a tapestry from start to finish, then like all stitchery, I have a wrong and a right side. If I turn the tapestry of my life thus far over to the "wrong" side, to the back where all the knots and adjoining threads are hidden, I see the beauty of redemption...a gradual decline of mixed up and messier threads as the tapestry of my life progresses over the years. The design on the back side is slowly becoming less messy and perhaps over time, the beauty of those random pieces of thread that work together will resemble the unique pieces of stitchery that, unless looked under extreme scrutiny, appear the same front and back. Nothing less than beautiful!
I finally got the clock right on the outdoor lights. I walked under the sparrows' nest and through my front door and entered into real time. Today, like everyday is a new day. It is a day to do things right, make good choices and decide wisely. It is a day to live with joy. Everyday, without turning back time, I have the opportunity to clean my slate and make it count.
The next 24 hours was mine.
This I humbly speak.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Meet My Id
Id and I were in the midst of an argument. I had said "be grateful, feel blessed, things happen for a reason," and that triggered the point of no return. We'd come too far to stop now.
"There is no reason, no 'look on the bright side' argument to this," said Id. "Things happen. You're either lucky or unlucky. Stop looking for a 'goodness' reason in all things. Accidents happen because they happen."
For a moment, I had a flashback to a favorite line from the movie "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World," where Mrs. Marcus says with a know-it-all attitude "...These things happen? They only happen because this whole country is full of people who, when these things happen, they just say these things happen, and that's why they happen." That's it. Period. End of argument. Maybe for Id, it was the end of argument, but not for me.
"Yes, accidents happen because certain factors in the process of life come together at that particular moment in that particular way resulting in a particular outcome which you wish to call unfortunate. It may not be unfortunate unless you wish to make it unfortunate." I had to speak.
"Do you mean to tell me I am creating my own misfortune?" asked Id.
"In a way, yes," I said softly. I had to be gentle. My Id, much like me, is passionate about life. But we differ, my Id and I. " If you see yourself as the victim of a situation, then that's what you are. See yourself as being in that situation because you choose to be, and soon you'll see that life proceeds from your intentions for it. Life is a process of elements and factors, and the result of your thoughts about it, positive or negative, is a choice you make," I repeated.
"So, let me get this straight. I'm standing in a crowd watching a parade and a bird flying overhead drops a load and out of all the hundreds in the crowd, the crap lands on my head, and you're telling me I'm supposed to look on the bright side and be grateful because lucky me, there's got to be a good reason behind this because I just got crapped on!?" Id was mocking me.
"Precisely!" I beamed, ignoring his sarcasm. "Out of all the hundreds in the crowd, what are the chances that the bird would land a load on you!! How lucky you must be to be singled out. Imagine if that had been a gold coin that fell from the sky. Would you have considered it fortunate or unfortunate? So the point is to accept these things as a process of life, as a small piece of a larger mosaic and your struggles of fortunate and unfortunate will cease." I stood my ground.
"Accidents happen," Id mumbled.
"Yeah, but nothing happens by accident," I chuckled.
"There is no reason, no 'look on the bright side' argument to this," said Id. "Things happen. You're either lucky or unlucky. Stop looking for a 'goodness' reason in all things. Accidents happen because they happen."
For a moment, I had a flashback to a favorite line from the movie "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World," where Mrs. Marcus says with a know-it-all attitude "...These things happen? They only happen because this whole country is full of people who, when these things happen, they just say these things happen, and that's why they happen." That's it. Period. End of argument. Maybe for Id, it was the end of argument, but not for me.
"Yes, accidents happen because certain factors in the process of life come together at that particular moment in that particular way resulting in a particular outcome which you wish to call unfortunate. It may not be unfortunate unless you wish to make it unfortunate." I had to speak.
"Do you mean to tell me I am creating my own misfortune?" asked Id.
"In a way, yes," I said softly. I had to be gentle. My Id, much like me, is passionate about life. But we differ, my Id and I. " If you see yourself as the victim of a situation, then that's what you are. See yourself as being in that situation because you choose to be, and soon you'll see that life proceeds from your intentions for it. Life is a process of elements and factors, and the result of your thoughts about it, positive or negative, is a choice you make," I repeated.
"So, let me get this straight. I'm standing in a crowd watching a parade and a bird flying overhead drops a load and out of all the hundreds in the crowd, the crap lands on my head, and you're telling me I'm supposed to look on the bright side and be grateful because lucky me, there's got to be a good reason behind this because I just got crapped on!?" Id was mocking me.
"Precisely!" I beamed, ignoring his sarcasm. "Out of all the hundreds in the crowd, what are the chances that the bird would land a load on you!! How lucky you must be to be singled out. Imagine if that had been a gold coin that fell from the sky. Would you have considered it fortunate or unfortunate? So the point is to accept these things as a process of life, as a small piece of a larger mosaic and your struggles of fortunate and unfortunate will cease." I stood my ground.
"Accidents happen," Id mumbled.
"Yeah, but nothing happens by accident," I chuckled.
This I humbly speak.
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